Emergency
by I.x.Want.x.To.x.Believe
Summary: Bella leaves Edward when she finds out he got accepted into Harvard medical school and he refused to go because of her. Eight years and a car crash later, they meet again, but will Bella be able to break through Edward’s now cold heart exterior? AH AU ExB
1. Prologue

**Summery:** Bella leaves Edward when she finds out he got accepted into Harvard medical school and he refused to go because of her. Eight years and a car crash later, they meet again, but will Bella be able to break through Edward's now cold heart exterior?

**Disclaim: **I do not own Twilight.

**Prologue**

The rain was pounding against my bedroom window as I stare ahead into the one way main street of the town of Forks.

Everything has become a _lot_ more confusing after graduation, everything isn't as simple as filling out college applications and taking finals, now, everything is everywhere. I remember Edward, my long term boyfriend, happiness and glee as he showed me all his acceptance forms, the only same university that I got in as he has was the University of Washington.

Harvard, MIT, Brown, Edward got in to all of them, I was so proud of him, but he has convinced himself that he's going to do his medical degree in just the common quarters of UW.

I loved Edward, I couldn't let him give away such an opportunity as this one just for the lights of me.

His silver Volvo pulls up to the curve, and my whole body jumped as I hear the car door slam shut. I wanted to cry, I wanted to snuggle up to him like I do almost every night he sneaks into my room and never let him go, I didn't want to let him go.

I walk down stairs slowly, hearing the echo of the door knocks throughout the house. As soon as I open the door, his lips attack mine, his hands on my sides as he turns me until he's fully inside the house, his wet hair dripping onto my dry skin. He pulled away, grinning, "Hey."

"Hi." _I can't do this, I can't do this. _

Edward frowns, "What's wrong love?"

My heart spiked, knowing what's to come, "Um- yes- no- kind of."

He chuckles, his arms trying to enclose against my waist, but I pulled away. His expression instantly turned to concern, "Bella, what's the matter?"

I couldn't look at him, I looked at the door handle behind him instead, "Things aren't right…Anymore."

"What do you mean? Has something happened?" His voice holding nothing but concern, his hand tries to cup my cheek, my I pull away once more.

I take a big breath in, "Us, I'm just not…Feeling it anymore."

I heard a sharp intake of air being taken in, "Bella, you can't mean that."

"I do." _God, I'm a terrible liar. _

"Bella," He grips my chin and jerked my face up, I still don't look at him, "I don't believe you."

"It's true." My voice quivered.

"No, it's not. What is it about?"

I made my eyes look up to his, his emerald orbs that I've loved since day one is filled with pain and worry. _This is for him Bella, not you, _"Edward, ever since graduation I just haven't felt right with you."

"I still don't believe you." He jaw clenched.

I rip my chin out of his grasp, not looking away from him no matter how much I longed to, "We are nothing but a high school fling Edward, it's not as if we were ever set in stone." I felt tears rip through my entire being with every word I verbalized.

He takes a step back, his eyes widen, "Bella, I love you."

That hits below the belt, I even flinched as he said it. _Don't chicken out Bella! You know that he will be better off without you, it's only a matter of time anyway, _"I'm not."

He winces, his face screws up as if he's trying his best not to cry. Every instinct I had was trying to force me to crush myself into him, cry and apologize that I ever said any of those words, that I didn't mean any of it, that I'm just scared. But I didn't, I stood my ground, or what little ground I had left at least, "If this is about university Bella, then don't worry about it, I'm going to be learning everything the same whether I'm in DC or Seattle. You don't have to do this."

Edward took a few steps towards me and I knew I was losing it, I stepped back, having my hand stretched out lazily to keep him distant, "No Edward, this isn't about you, it's about _me_. I need time to work out my own life and not have to worry about someone else's, I feel _suffocated._"

"Then I will give you as much time as you need, you don't have to end this…Please?" His eyes plead.

I looked away, my eyes directed to the floor, _don't cry, please don't cry_, "That's the thing, I don't _want _you to wait for me."

"I _will _wait for you Bella." He said firmly.

My eyes look up to him, I almost glared at him for making this so much more harder then I hoped, "I don't want you, Edward."

I saw a single tear slide down his cheek, his eyes look at me as if not believing that this conversation is real, "You have me."

"Then I'm giving you back." _For god sakes I'm crying! _The tears wouldn't stop, they fell, and I tried my best to stop.

He moves closer, and I yell, "No Edward! Don't you get it!? I don't want to be together! You have to accept that!"

Each word seemed like a bullet to his exterior, his feelings feel as if they are radiated back to me, "Bella, please…"

"What do you want from me Edward?" My voice started to shake, "Do you want me to walk around and pretend that I still have feelings for you? That I still _love _you? Because I can't!"

Without words, he turns and runs out the door, not looking back to see me break down on the ground, crying because my own personal world has now shattered into a million pieces.


	2. Accident

**Chapter One – Accident **

"Before next lesson I want everyone to have finished the readings of _'all's well end's well'_. You are dismissed." I say to my 'introduction to Shakespeare' tutorial class.

Everyone nods and mumbles goodbyes and thank you's for the lesson I've taught before leaving me alone inside the empty classroom. I pick up the eraser and wipe the chalk board clean of my writing till the only thing left is dust. I've just started working at Harvard a week ago, and I'm slowly adjusting. Harvard is definitely a _lot _more elite then the University of Montana, but they offered me a job before the New Year and I would have been crazy to refuse.

"Bella, are you ready to go?" I turn as soon as I hear Alice's voice.

I nod, "Yeah."

I shovel all my things into my blue pull along tray as I ask, "How was class?"

"It could have been better, but I think some of the students have some real potential." Alice beams. Alice is the professor of Philosophy, as soon as I came here we hit it off big time, tonight I have plans with both Alice and her husband, Jasper, to have dinner at _Rainbow Vegetarian Bistro, _a vegetarian restaurant on King Parade.

I smile, "That's excellent Alice."

"So many of the students are so open to everyone's opinions, it's so great, I remember when I was a student here, I think that I was in arguments every class I had." She laughs.

"I know the feeling, most of everyone has their own opinions on all the classics, so it's almost impossible to have two or more agree on the same hypothesis." We stop at my office quick so I can drop my things off inside.

"Hm, sometimes I think that there are more debates in a single philosophy class then in a court room." Alice jokes, "Oh, I hope it's okay for you to take me to the restaurant, Jasper is going to meet us there, he's been training the 'maggots' a bit harder then he was attending to."

I laugh, "So what is he? A **Lieutenant?" **

**She giggles, "A Lieutenant General, he recently got promoted." **

"**Good for him." I smile. I've never actually met the man, but to make someone like Alice happy, I'm sure he's a great guy. **

"**So, do you have any men in your life?" She asks, winking. **

**I choke on a laugh, "Yeah right, I'm not really worried about any." **_**At least not until I'm thirty. **_

"**But Bella, love is one of the most pure forms of living there is, you **_**have **_**to find love eventually." She says enthusiastically. **

**I shake my head, "if love wants me it can find me, as I said, I'm not too concerned. Plus, I've just started this job, so I want to at least make an impression." **

"**I could show you a few of the single professors here…" **

"**No Alice, I am not getting involved with someone from work." I warn. **

**Alice huffs, "Fine, but I do know a few single guys I could definitely see potential with." **

"**I thought you were married?" I tease. **

**She rolls her eyes, "Oh you know what I mean!" **

**The drive to the restaurant isn't all too far a distance, King Parade isn't that far from the main street, so I didn't even need Alice to direct me to the place. We pull up just outside, as we lock the doors and enter into the fresh smelling atmosphere. Bells ring on entry, and Alice instantly grins once she set eyes on a lean blond male wearing a khaki wife pants and a white wife beater, a dog collar hanging from his neck, sitting at a booth in the corner. We make our way over to the man as he stands and embraces Alice with a hug and a peck on the cheek, "Hey." **

**She giggles, "Hi. Jasper, this is Bella, Bella, this is my husband Jasper." **

**I smile, extending my hand, "Hello Jasper." **

"**Nice to meet you." He shakes my hand before I slide into the opposite side of the booth from Alice and Jasper. Now that I see him up close, I notice a few scars across his tan skin. One goes from his left cheek down to the bottom of his chin, another crossing his nose and ending just before his ear, but try not to take too much notice to them to avoid seeming rude considering Alice is the first friend I've made here in **Massachusetts, and I'm not going to try doing anything to disturb that.

I pick up the menu in the center of the table and ask, "Are either of you vegetarians?"

Alice nods, "I'm a vegan."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just believe that we can inhabit this world without destroying the other creatures in it for something as common as food." She smiles.

Whoa, I'm a bit in shock that she has these sort of beliefs yet she's married to a military man, "That's nice."

A waitress comes to take our order, we all choose something from the menu's and make small talk around the table as our food is being prepared. We start talking about our past, what we plan for the future. Alice even mentions that she and Jasper are going to be trying for a baby soon, considering Jasper's promotion.

I ask, "Just out of curiosity, I was wondering how you two meet? Considering the occupational differences."

They both laugh, Jasper answers, "Well, I got injured in Afghanistan a few years back, so the military brought me back home. I was in the hospital because my calve muscle was blown out and I needed physiotherapy it to even consider going back."

Alice continues, "I was at the hospital one day visiting a friend and I walked past this room and I heard a crash."

"You see, I've been in the military since I was eighteen, so being cooped up in a hospital and not being able to do anything was really tough for me, so I tried to push myself a little bit too far by trying to walk to the bathroom without anything to support me and I crashed."

Alice laughs, "I was completely panicked because all I saw was this guy on the floor trying to get up but couldn't. I raced in to help him up, but as you can see I'm not entirely strong enough to pull him up by myself so-"

"I ended up falling on top of her and a nurse came past thinking I was trying to molest her." Jasper says with humor.

Without thought, I crack up laughing. My hand over my mouth as I continue to laugh, yet speak, "Then what?"

"Well, after a few nurses and doctors came in to help Jasper onto the bed, he apologized to me and we just started talking."

"And I wasn't ready to say good bye when she left, so I gave her my number and she came back the next day." He says, grinning down at her.

I smile, "That's sweet."

Jasper unwraps his arm around Alice's shoulder as soon as the waitress comes around and hands us our order. I simply got a vegetarian ravioli, I'm not quite sure what Jasper or Alice is eating, but the food looks good all the same. We go on talking till closing, we walk out of the restaurant, Jasper smiles, "It's nice meeting you Bella."

"Yeah, you too Jasper."

"We have to do this again, how about we do something this weekend." Alice asks hopefully.

I put my hands in my pockets and raise my shoulders, smiling, "Sounds good, I'll see you tomorrow Alice."

"Bye." They both say before walking to the blue car in front of me.

I hop into my new red pick-up –that somewhat resembles my old Chevy from high school- and drive off. I smile at this evening, it's probable the most eventful thing that I've done since, well, I can't remember. I've really haven't done much with my life other then examine the classical readings of Shakespeare, Emily Eye and such authors.

I haven't even found some sort of relationship to spiral into during College or with my workings at various Universities, I've been on dates, sure, but I've never really _clicked _with anyone. Well, _one_, but I haven't spoken to Edward Cullen since the day that I broke it off with him. I feel a frown weight down my lips, even after so many years, I still think of the bronze haired boy that I loved back in high school. I remember when I got offered the job at Harvard, Edward had popped into my mind, and I quickly discarded that considering that he had to have graduated four years ago. That's even if he had went to Harvard, for all I know he could have went to Brown, MIT, Yale, and even if I were to see him one day, I wouldn't be anything to him anyway, only the girl that broke his heart back in high school.

Just as I pass through the lights a few blocks from my apartment, I hear a loud horn from to my left, extra light starts to blind me and before I know, I feel a sharp feeling in my head and I black out.


	3. Edward

**Chapter Two – Edward **

I wake up to the sound of beeping.

A sharp pain suddenly rears its ugly face from the darkness, the ache bangs against my frontal bone, my hand shooting up to hold my head together. I feel a cool alien like contraption on my index finger, I look at the plastic attaching itself to me, instantly I know where I am.

_The hospital? _

Why the hell am I in a hospital?! I open my eyes up widely, only to flinch back as the light is brighter than I expect. My eyes start to adjust, and I don't have too much feeling from the waist down. I look down to see my right leg caged inside a metal cast. I groan, why can't I remember why I got here?

I turn over, grunting as my sides feel as if it's completely bruised. Slowly, I reach for the red button on a table beside me, just as I manage to slip my fingers on top of the button, the door opens. A thin brunette woman walks in, her brown eyes widen as she sees my struggle, "You're awake Isabella."

I grimace, "Bella."

"How are you feeling?" She asks, picking up my chart before putting it back down and coming to my side, checking my monitor.

"I have a mild head ache, from one to ten it would be six, and I can't really feel anything from the waist down."

She raises a brow, her lips showing humor, "You've been to the hospital a lot?"

"Define a lot?" I laugh, wincing instantly as the movement causes my brain to hit my frontal bone.

The nurse frowns, noticing my discomfort, "Dr. Cullen will be in in a moment."

I groan, "Okay." I decide to ask my questions to the doctor.

Within a few moments, I hear the door opens and who I'm guessing is Dr. Cullen walks in. I look up to see the man glaze down at the clip board at the end of my bed, his bronze hair is styled as if he just rolled out of bed. His whole being is so familiar, his hair, his frame…But from where…

Dr. Cullen looks up, only to display to me his entire face, and his emerald eyes. My breath hitches. _Edward! _"Miss Swan, how are you feeling?" He asks me in a completely business tone, his expression completely stern, yet, almost giving me the impression that he doesn't want to be here.

He doesn't seem to recognize me, so I answer, "As well as the next girl… Um…What happened exactly?"

"You have a concussion so I expected you to not remember," His velvet smooth voice speaks, almost making me smile just hearing it again, "You were in a car accident, a drunk driver ran through a red light and hit your car. You were lucky he wasn't going any faster or else you wouldn't have survived."

I groan, "Great, story of my life, how long will I be in the hospital? Will I be staying overnight."

"Considering all your injuries I don't see you leaving the hospital for a week at the least, and with your leg being broken in several places, you are going to need physiotherapy."

"Whoa, a new record." I feel the drugs slowly wearing off, the ache in my head rises significantly.

"How is your head ache?"

I raise a brow, "How do you know-"

"It's written on the chart, plus the fact that you have stitches in the side of your head, it's almost impossible to not feel anything with the sedatives they gave you." He points just to the left of my ear.

"You shouldn't have told me that…" I feel an uncertain feeling in my stomach, my hands slowly creep to my stomach as if I'm holding it in.

Edward speaks, "Would you like more drugs?"

"I don't know…"

"You don't know if you want to be relieved of pain or not?" He raises a brow.

My cheeks go red, "No, it's not that, it's just…I don't really like pain killers, they make me feel weird."

"You mean numb?"

I roll my eyes, "No, as if I can't control what I'm doing, you know, woozy."

"I can put you on some mild sedatives just so your pain will go away and leave you in the best state of mind as you can in your state." He offers.

"That would be good." I smile. Edward's appearance has barely changed, his posture is still serious and stiff like. He's only grown, none of his appearances have changed, well, only slightly, his hair is a bit longer than I remember and a bit greasy, showing that he's probably hasn't been home for a while, and his skin is looking paler and more…Warn out? I can't really describe it, for a doctor, he himself doesn't look entirely _alive_.

Still doesn't mean that he isn't insanely beautiful.

He nods, "I will put you on some Tylenol and get another drip in for you, the sodium chloride suspension is nearly finished."

I start to turn my head upwards and stop when I feel staggering pain course through nearly every inch of my body, "You okay?"

I would laugh if I didn't know how much it will hurt, "You're seriously asking me that? What exact injuries do I have anyway?"

"Both your left ulna and radius are broken in three places, same goes for your left femur, fibula and tibia. You sustained mild damage to the head, a bit of hemorrhage, but we managed to stop that. You cracked eight ribs and were bleeding internally, and about sixty percent of your appearance is bruised."

I grimace, I definitely do _not _want to look in a mirror right now. Though the thought is kind of comforting that maybe the reason why Edward doesn't recognize me is because of my drowned out appearance. I ask, "Has anyone notified any of my relatives?"

"No, would you like someone to?"

My eyes widen, "No! Um- No, that's fine, don't need to worry them."

He sighs, nods, "I'll get the pain killers and the drip."

I nod, giving him a polite smile before he leaves. His attitude is so cold, I remember he was like that when we first met, but he told me that was because he thought that I was going out with Mike Newton and he was just jealous. Obviously this is different. He barely showed any emotions at all. I wonder what happened to him… I lie back contemplating all the reasons when I feel a sharp pain in my rib and I gasp.

"Where's the pain?" Edward asks frowning, dropping both a tray that has the drip and two cups, one smaller than the other.

I feel another and I squeeze my eyes tightly and bite my lip so I won't cry, "My rib."

"Yes, well, you've cracked quite a few of them." He comes to my side and brings the blanket down and starts to lift my hospital gown up.

I look at him with shocked eyes and red cheeks, "What do you think you're doing?!"

Edward rolls his eyes, "I have to check if the tape on your ribs are tight enough, you won't be able to sit up so I have to lift it up."

"O-oh." I say shakingly as he pushes it up past my thighs and leaves it curling up at the top of my chest. Embarrassingly, my heart starts pounding harder as I have him this close, I feel sparks between the contact of our flesh and I almost jump. The monitor has my heart rate of display for Edward, and I feel as if I'm going to die if he notices it.

He frowns, "Whoever did your tape didn't put a lot of care into it," He sighs, looking at me with a serious look, "I'm going to need to sit you up."

"Can I have the pain killers first?" I bite my lip, blushing.

"Sure." He grabs me the two cups. I only have use of one hand, so he passes me the one with the table so I throw them in my mouth, and then the water and I wash it down, "The drug won't take affect for another five to ten minutes, but I would feel better if this is done sooner or else the rib could potentially do more damage internally."

"Okay."

"And I'm going to have to take your gown off as well."

I blush deeper, "Okay."

He nods, "I'm going to get a nurse in to help me hold you while I retighten the tape."

"Okay." Is all I can say.

A moment or two later, him and the brunette nurse walks in, she going to my left as Edward stays to my right, "Miss Swan, this is Angela, she's going to keep a hold on you while I do the tape, okay?"

"Okay."

He slips his hand under my shoulder blade and Angela does as well and pull me up. I bite my lip as hard as I can and my eyes squeezing shut as I feel pain through my entire upper half, my lower half just feeling very uncomfortable. I wonder if I'm a paraplegic now considering I haven't felt so much as a pain in the leg that's supposedly broken in several places.

They one of them unties the dress at neck and they both pull it down to the ball and socket joints of my arms, though my left is hanging up towards the ceiling, it's rather uncomfortable. I blush as I realize I have _nothing _under my gown, meaning that I am _naked _in front of a stranger and my ex who hasn't seen me like _this _in eight years. I can both feel and hear my heart beating more rapidly thanks to the monitor. Angela coos, "No need to worry Bella, this will all be over soon."

"Miss Swan, I'm about to give you a stronger sedative in your spine or else this will be more painful then necessary, is that okay?"

"Yes." I bite down harder to the point that I expect to smell blood.

I feel a small sharp pain in my back, and slowly a little pressure later, I start feeling a numbing sensation overriding all feeling, and I suddenly can't sit up by myself, giving Angela a harder time keeping me sitting up right. Edward kneels down so he is parallel with my stomach, and starts to unwrap the tape. I look down at my body and grimace, Edward is right, my body _is _sixty percent bruised. I look horrible, I'm half naked, and my ex boyfriend from high school is taping me up, could this get any worse?

"You don't have to be embarrassed Bella, we're professionals, we see this stuff every day." Angela tries to comfort me.

I feel my face heat up once more, "Doesn't make me feel any better."

"Almost done." Edward says.

"Why don't I have feeling in my legs?" I ask, not entirely sure if I want to know the answer.

"We had to put your waist down to sleep because of the fractures, if you were to wake up without it you would have injured yourself further."

I sigh in relief, "So I'm not a paraplegic?"

Edward breaths a laugh, "No."

_I bet he wishes that I were for what I done to him… _I frown, trying not to give Edward a sympathy glance as he finishes taping me up, "All done, you may go back to your work, thank you Angela."

Angela nods, "Do you feel hungry at all?"

I give her a polite smile, "I can't really feel anything from the chest down, but thanks."

She laughs, pulling a cord with the red button on it and wraps it around the bed's bar, "Just peep this if you need anything and someone will be with you soon."

I nod, "Thanks."

Angela walks out, leaving Edward to pull my gown back up and over my shoulders, instantly making me more comfortable, "Thank you."

He gives me a swift nod, then turns and grabs the sodium chloride fill drip, changing it over. As soon as he clips the new one in I instantly feel the cold liquid rushing through my veins, I shiver, "Do you want another blanket?"

I bite my lip, "Yes please."

Edward leaves and within a few moments, he has a new blanket and places it gently over my body to avoid any unnecessary pain, I ask, "How have you been?"

He stops abundantly, before resuming putting the blanket on, "Good, do you want anything else?"

I can't say that I'm not hurt by his coldness, then again, I pretty much asked for it by ending it the way I did, "No."

He nods, "I'll be back later to check on you."

I stare straight ahead, nodding back as I feel moisture fill my eyes, "Okay."

Edward leaves without looking back, and I feel a dark haze consume me. Today has got to be the worst day of my life, well, second worse.


	4. Pictures

**Chapter Three – Pictures **

Three day's after the day I woke up in the hospital and the doctors allow me to get out of my hospital bed –I may still be in a wheel chair because of my cast, but it's out of the painfully white room.

I have Alice in and out of the hospital every day after work, yesterday she brought Jasper with her, but today she's by herself, and she came baring _home _work, "So because you aren't at the college to do it, and considering they probably don't have cable, I brought you your laptop and a few things so you'll be able to type up more of your syllabus."

I grin, "Alice, you are a true life saver. The hospital _does _have cable, but I've never been one to watch much television anyway."

"You're welcome, has the doctor's given you any new news yet?" She asks, putting down my laptop bag and a thick blue folder to the side table.

I shake my head, "Well, nothing that would shock. Lately it's just been checkups and x-rays to see if the bone's have been growing back normally."

"And are they?"

I nod, "Yeah, no abnormalities, so that's good."

"That's great," Alice grins, looking around the bare room, she frowns and asks, "Why don't you have any cards or flowers or something?"

Blushing, I look away, mumbling lowly, "I didn't tell anyone…."

"Sorry, I didn't hear you, what did you say?" She asks, scrunching her face to try hearing something I don't want her to hear.

I sigh, "I said, I didn't tell anyone."

Alice's eyes go wide, "Do you not have anyone else you want to call about the accident? Your parents? Any other friends?" She asks.

"Alice…Yes, I do, but it's not as if I'm dead or critically ill, I'm going to heal and they don't need to worry." _There is no way in hell I'm letting Renee know. _

"Yeah, but if you father ended up in hospital today because of a heart attack, you'd want to know regardless if or if not he's going to be fine in the end."

I press my lips together, _damn she has a point_, "That's beside's the point."

"I think it's exactly the point." She teases.

Rolling my eyes, I defend, "I'd still rather not letting them know, Renee would be over in no time and she's really trying to get how to work a barista at the moment."

Alice raises a brow, "You honestly think that your own _mother _would choose a coffee maker over her daughter's health?"

"Exactly! She's following her dreams and I shouldn't be weighing her down."

"Bella, you wouldn't weigh her down." Alice says concernly.

"Alice, don't start, please?" I plead

She frowns, "Fine, it's your decision."

I sign, "Thank you, anyway, how have you been?"

"Good, I've got a dinner date with Jasper in an hour." She grins.

"Then what are you still doing here Alice? Go get ready for your man!" I laugh.

"No! I just got here! You will go crazy being in this…white box all day without a thing to entertain you." She looks around the room disgusted.

_I'm not entirely un-entertained…_Flashes of my completely god like ex comes to mind, that's not unentertaining… "I'm not totally un-entertained, plus, I have my laptop now so I can catch up on the blackboard with my lectures and tutorials so none of my classes are missing anything."

She pokes her tongue, "Fine, but expect me here same time tomorrow."

"Counting on it." I laugh.

Alice hugs me good bye before leaving the room, closing the door behind her. I sigh, getting my laptop off the side table and open it, I start re-reading my e-book version of '_all's well end's well'. _I decide to start writing the pop quiz for the story, knowing that I will be a few months in advance, but when I have time, why not, considering I already _have _all my courses ready online for my students.

I get half way done when my stomach starts to grumble. I groan, staring at the wheelchair to my right. I am _not _letting myself be subjected to hospital food again tonight. Closing my laptop, I leave it on the bed before slowly easing my right leg off the bed and allowing my behind to fit in the chair before swinging my black and blue cased leg onto the extending leg of the wheel chair.

The chair is electric, which is a very good thing considering one of my arms are broken and casted as well, I guess that's why I get the modern one and not one that I have to rely on others to take me around. I head for the café on the top floor, knowing I would be able to get at least a meat pie or maybe even lasagna instead of dried up bread and a poor excuse for tomato soup that's on offer from the hospitals kitchen.

When I get up there, I check the menu board, yep, they have beef lasagna. My mouth waters, I direct myself to the counter, where the server lady looks at me, frowning, "I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to serve patients."

I frown, "Why not?"

"It's the hospital's policy, ma'am. I'm sorry but-"

She get's cut off by a familiar velvet coating voice, "It's fine, she's with me."

My cheeks warm, I stare up shyly to see the man that's been hockeying through my room for the last few days, never saying so much as a word to me that isn't a question about my health. I'm shocked that he's doing this for me.

She blushes as well, "Oh, Dr. Cullen," She nods, "Yes, um, what would you like ma'am?"

"Just a beef lasagna and a water please." I say self consciously, though kind of disappointed that they don't sell coke here; no they couldn't, that has flavor.

"Okay, and for you Doctor?" The brunette asks shyly.

"Same."

"The total is fifteen eighty-five."

I get my wallet off my lap to pay for my half, I get a ten out but before I can hand her the note, Edward hands her a twenty, "Keep the change."

She nods, before going off in the back to get our order, I frown, turning the chair towards his to face him, "You didn't have to do that, I could have paid for myself."

"The least you could do is thank me." He says harshly.

_Oh crap, that came out wrong, _I give him an apologetic look, "Sorry, I meant that I could have paid for myself, you know, pay for my half, but thank you for helping me out."

He gives me an unchanging expression, he nods curtly, and just stands and waits. When she comes back with the lasagna and water, Edward takes the tray with both plates and water's to the table nearby, I follow him with my guard up, _ he hasn't so much as looked at me while we were waiting for the food, why would he want to sit and eat with me.._.? He moves a chair so I would be able to come closer to eat my dinner, before sitting down in the chair opposite me, picking up his knife and fork and starts to eat.

I do the same somewhat awkwardly with only one arm, maybe I should have rethought the whole 'lasagna' thing. I end up using the side of the fork to cut through the rubber-like pages of pasta. When I finally get one corner of the lasagna off, I stab the fork into it and direct it to my mouth, some of it falling off the fork, by the end the only amount of lasagna I have in my mouth is only the top slice of it.

_I must look so pathetic to Edward…_I decide to try picking up the rest of the lasagna I dropped on the plate until I hear Edward sigh loudly, both in defeat and annoyance and yanks my plate out from under my fork. I look up at him as he gets his knife and fork and cuts up the lasagna into pieces for me, he glares at the plate while practically stabbing the innocent meat before sliding it back to me.

"Thank you." I blush.

"You're welcome." He takes a bite of his.

I decide to squish the lasagna before stabbing it with my fork, this time I actually get a decent bite. I let my taste buds take over with the first bite. It's not the most tastiest thing I've ever had, but from three days of bland hospital food, it tastes divine. I get one/forth of the way through my food before Edward finishes and gets up. He gives me a swift nod -as if to say goodbye- before leaving, placing the plate on the counter of the café before leaving with his water bottle in hand.

Not too long after, Angela, the nurse from before comes and sits where Edward had, "Hey, I saw Dr. Cullen sitting here just before, that's strange."

I blush, taking a sip of my water before speaking, "Yes, hello to you too."

"Oh, sorry, hello Bella, how have you been?" She gives me an apologetic smile.

"Just as good as the next girl who got in a car accident," I smile, "How about you?"

"The same as the next girl who is still on a sixteen hour shift."

I whistle, "Why are you on so late?"

"It's always like that, I have a sixteen hour shift and a twenty-four hour rest, it rotates." She smiles.

"Well, I'm a university lecturer at Harvard, so far, the latest shift I've had is twelve hours because I have a tutorial at eight at night till ten every Tuesday." I explain.

She nods, "What do you teach?"

"English lit, I mostly do the honor classes, but because I just started off at Harvard, I'm doing the undergraduate." I shrug.

"Where were you working before Harvard?"

"Montana State. But I originally got my masters in University of Washington."

Angela smiles, "My boy friend is from Seattle."

I perk up, "What's his name?"

"Ben."

"Good for you." I cheer, but I desperately want to know about Edward. I want to know why it is unusual that he sat with me for dinner, and why he's so cold now or if it's just to me –which would make sense.

She nods, "Yeah, he's great."

I cut straight to my question, "What is Edw- I mean, Dr. Cullen's problem?"

Her eyebrows perk up, "I don't know. I've been working here since I've graduated three years ago, I've never seen him sit with anyone at lunch or even talk to anyone outside of work related deals. Why was he sitting with you?"

My cheeks grow red, "Um, I was having trouble with my…food, he cut my lasagna for me, he has the advantage considering he has two hands."

Angela nods understandingly, "Still, it's weird to see him sitting with you."

"Do you know why he's the way he is?" I ask, "I mean, has he always been like this?"

"No, I have no idea, he's been like this as long as I've known him, he's been here longer than me. Why all the questions?" She asks me with a smirk.

I lie, "Oh, just wondering, he's sort of intriguing."

"Yes, the rest of the female population thinks he's '_intriguing' _as well." She laughs.

I laugh, _that would not be too imagine. _Just seeing him now, he's still so handsome, but his personality that I fell in love with seems to have drained from him, leaving him this…shell. I've seen bits that I've remembered of him when he helped me in the line, and when he cut my food, but he still isn't the same. I want to know _why_.

We talk for a good half hour before she leaves to continue on with her shift, I am more reluctant to go back to my room. The only good thing about it is that because of my serious injury they gave me my own room, so I'm not in a six bedder with curtains for walls. When I get back into my room, I pull myself back onto the bed, grabbing my laptop and turning it back on. I stare at the empty screen, knowing that I should go back to my work, but I don't.

I go down to my documents and into a file I call '2001', the year that I went back to Forks and met Edward. I open it and pull up pictures. The first one made me smile, our prom night in sophomore, I broke my leg the week before by playing hide-and-go-seek with Edward's little sister Rosalie, it took more time than it was to win her over then Edward. I remember an argument with him about even showing up, he finally convinced me and all night he spent carrying me while we danced, and when we left he still had a smile on his face. The picture is of him with his arm around me in my midnight blue dress –him in his tux- that mom sent over to make up for not being there in person to see me, I always hated pictures, so my head is facing his chest as he laughs.

Clicking to the next, it's the picture of my eighteenth. Edward through me a surprise party at his place, of course only small, our families and a few of the friends we were grouped with at school. I also remember that night Edward snuck into my room and had given me my _real _present. It was the night I'd given him _everything _of me, and he his. I feel vapor in my eyes just remembering.

_You let him go for him, it would have been self-centered to keep him back just for yourself. _I keep reminding myself that, over and over, but it isn't working. The tears in my eyes shed, god how can I both respect and regret my decision so much? All this repress feelings, the year after I broke it off, I was…Nothing. I was top of my class just because study was all I did. I severed all ties with any of the 'friends' I had back in high school –most of them only hung out with me because they thought I was 'cool' because I didn't grow up with them, others just did because Edward was with me. I rented a single dorm at the university, and I did not leave unless I was going to class or getting groceries. The picture is of me and him kissing over my just blown out birthday cake that Esme spent half the day making for me.

The next picture is of graduation, we both in our blue graduation gowns, one arm around each other with our diplomas' in the other.

Why couldn't I have just convinced him that we can make the long distance thing work?! I ball up my fists, we could have had a life together now, we could have been _happy_, something that I can see neither one of us have!

I am so angry with myself and crying so hard that I warn myself out to sleep.


	5. Yell

**Chapter four **

I wake up to the now familiar sounds of beeping, groaning, still not used to the uncomfortable position that my body is force to shape with my leg escalading up and my arm being in an L shape across my chest. I remember when it was just yesterday –four days ago- when I would be belly flopping on my bed, in a stuffy room, with color. But apparently a hospital has never heard of the word because it still hurts my eyes by the white, even with the lights dimming lowly.

Groaning, my fog like mind starts to clear, frowning when I remember how I feel asleep.

_My laptop…Where's my laptop?! _I start to panic, I jerk my head to the left, then the right, sighing in relief when I realize that the mac book is residing on the white wooden bedside table, on top of Alice's pile of work she left. Now I didn't put it there, I distinctly remember that it rested on my belly when I went to sleep, so, who did?

My heart starts to escalate, oh god I hope it wasn't Edward! Not with the pictures I was looking at, what would he have thought if he saw them? He would think that I was an ungrateful little shrew who suddenly realizes she made a mistake and is too much of a chicken to do anything about it. As much as I dislike thinking the words, they _are _half true. I mean, I _could _try fixing what happened years ago, but things aren't the same, Edward won't see the same thing that he saw in my years ago –whatever the hell that was.

I grab my laptop, thankful it's on the side that my good hand is on, and place it back on my stomach, opening it and logging in to see if _anything _has been changed or tampered with. As soon as it signs me on, I give a sigh of relief when I see the same picture that displayed on the screen whatever time I feel asleep last night –Edward and mine's graduation.

Well, if Edward were the one to see them, then at least it was only one he saw. I exited out of _my pictures_ and close the lid, sighing heavily, it was probably just a nurse…

I look up to the clock on the side of the wall, it reading one forty-five –or something close. I've explored once, why not again? Hoisting myself up once more, I put a lot of my energy into putting myself in the wheelchair, relaxing instantly, turning to mosh in the fabric back as it's a deferent position then the one I've been in for what seems like a year. I use the joy stick and exit the room into the corridor. The hospital seems deserted, with only one night nurse behind a desk not too far down, I'm sure she would have told me I have to go back into my room, but with the ipod ear phones in, looking down at what is probably a book, she won't notice if I'm sitting on top of an elephant.

Heading deeper and deeper into the corridor, I see a door open, one that leads to a balcony. I grin, being inside of a hospital is not my dream, my body screams for fresh air, so instantly I go to the hovering cement. The cold air hits me like a ton of bricks, my skin instantly prickles, but I don't care, it's a different feeling. I look back into the corridors, seeing that no one has seen me go out, and wheel myself back so that I'm away from hine sight.

I've been in the hospital a number of twenty-three times. The longest I've stayed in one was two weeks, so it's not new to me to be bored out of my mind and to have people sneak me in edible food, but that doesn't mean I'm not incredibly bored. I have considered writing a book, but I would be way too shy to send it to a publisher, to have my work checked over by about thirty phD's before getting it published, I wouldn't be able to stand the nerves –it was bad enough when I got my phD published. When I think about it, being in the hospital is like being at home, all I do is read, eat, sleep, and prepare my syllabus, the only thing different is the drip, the constant alarms, and the casts, then it would be like living with Charlie all over.

I stare out at the town, sighing, before looking up at the clouds, they threaten to snow any second. A chill runs down my spine once more, and my good arm goes up to warm up what flesh is feelable on the left.

_I definitely shouldn't have went out with Alice and Jasper on Friday…_

A few rushing footsteps make a sound in the corridor, before a familiar head pop's out from the doorway, "There you are!"

"Here I am," I laugh, "Are you okay?"

Her cheeks are flushed, she gasps and glares at me, "Do you know how panicked I was? You weren't in your room, or in the bathroom, and the RN didn't see you go out, for all we knew you could have been kidnapped!"

I roll my eyes, "I think someone would notice if I was, considering they'd have to be incredibly strong to get me out of my bed willingly with these baby's on my arm and leg." I lift my arm to add to the affect.

"That's not the point! You're supposed to tell the RN on charge where you are going or else we'd have to sound the alarms."

"Okay, okay, I won't go wondering out of my bed again in the middle of the night, are you happy now?" I laugh, using my hands as white flags.

She rolls her eyes, "What are you even doing out here? You must be freezing wearing that."

I shrug, "Needed fresh air, couldn't get back to sleep, there's not much to do in a hospital surprisingly."

"There is when you work here." Angela laughs, moving behind my chair and pushing me back into the building and down the hall. We walk past the nurses corner and Angela glares at the RN on duty, the one that I snuck past a few moments ago, "She was out on the balcony."

The brunettes lips press together hard, "Sorry Angela, I was pre-occupied doing the analysis for Mr. Harrison."

"_Don't _let it happen again or there will be penalty Jessica."

Jessica looks down, I give her a bit of pity, Angela does look kind of scary when she's glaring ice shards at you. Angela continues pushing me to my room, "Rookies, they don't know just how serious their job is until a catastrophe happens."

"You sound like you've had experience." I smirk.

She laughs, "Well, that's because I've been here for three years, I've had my fair share in the business."

"The worst?"

"A man's ligament torn off clean, that was a sight, and an intern had lost his limb!"

I feel my stomach turn, "Lovely."

"Yeah, well, I'm planning on going back to study, I think I want to go into scrubs."

"Which is…?" I laugh at myself for being confused, obviously not in the discourse of the conversation we are now heading in.

"A scrub nurse, they assist with surgeries, I don't do the cutting or anything. I wouldn't want to be a surgeon, I'd feel too responsible for the casualty." She says casually.

"I hear you."

Angela stops beside my bed, helping me onto the bed, she smiles, "Tomorrow your arm will be out of the cast, you'll just have a sling, it's wasn't as bad as your leg so it will heal quicker. You'll only need the sling till next week then you should have most use in it."

"Most?"

"Yeah, it won't be one hundred percent, but still usable to an extent."

I smile, "As long as I have movement without pain, it's fine."

She yawns, I ask, "How much longer until your shift ends?"

Her eyes blink a few times, before answering, "Urh, I was on my way out and decided to check up on you, when I saw that you weren't in here I went to find you."

"Oh! I'm sorry."

She laughs, "Don't be, I've had a nice talk, you're probably more coherent then most of the nurses still here anyway, it's nice to talk to someone once and a while."

"Come by anytime." I smile.

"I will, see you when I see you Bella."

"Night, get some sleep!"

"Oh trust me, I will." She waves and leaves me in the room by myself.

I stare at the wall ahead of me for a few moments until I fall asleep with boredom.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Hello?"

I almost chicken out as soon as I hear the masculine voice of my father through the phone, Alice is right, I have to tell him. I bite my lip, "Hey dad."

"Bella? Hey! I haven't heard from you in over a month now!" He sounds ecstatic.

_How am I supposed to tell him!? _"Yeah, dad, um, I called for a reason…"

I can just picture the color drain from his face, "What happened?"

"I…Kinda…Got into an…Accident."

"What?!" I wince, putting the phone a solid two inches from my ear, "When did this happen? Are you alright? What happened!?"

"Well, a guy drove through a red light and hit my car, I have a few broken bones, but nothing serious." I reassure, not telling him that I've waited five days to tell him.

"What about the driver?"

"Died on impact."

He breaths out loudly, "Well, at least you're okay, you are okay aren't you?"

I nod, "Yeah dad, it's only physical wounds, I've had worse before."

Charlie doesn't laugh, "How long will you be in hospital for?"

"Just a few more days, I'm going to be released soon."

There is a plause before he speaks, "I'm coming down."

My eyes widen, "What? No! Dad, seriously, I'm alright, everything is fine, I have friends here if I need help. Seriously, I am just peachy."

He sighs, "Does your mom know anything about this?"

"No, I called you first."

"Did you want me to talk to her?"

I shake my head, "No, you'd better not, or else she'll think I was too sick to pick up and call her myself." That would be _all _I needed.

"Okay, well, keep me up to date, make sure you call if there are any changes, or when you get out. You will let me know if you need help, won't you?"

"Yes dad, I promise."

"You almost gave me a heart attack kid."

I laugh, at both his kind of serious joke and the fact that he still calls me –age 27- a kid, "Sorry dad, but I have to go, I will call as soon as I get out."

"Okay, love you kid."

"Love you too, bye." I hang up.

Sighing, I decide that calling one parent is exhausting, so I decide to wait to call mom in an hour… or three. I wheel back to my room and naturally getting back into bed, hoisting my laptop onto my lap and checking my e-mails, waiting for Alice's daily visit – she's sneaking in real food, KFC.

I hear the door open and I assume that it's Alice, I continue to respond to a student's answer, I grin, "Hey Alice, did you bring the goods?"

I don't get a response, I frown, "Alice?" I lift up my head and see non-other than Edward Cullen in all his glory, pacing the room.

"Edward?" I crook my head.

He stops and turn to me, his expression hard and his lips pressed thin, "I am going to talk- no, I am going to yell and you are going to listen because I didn't get to nine years ago and I damn well have the right to now, do you understand?"

I flinch slightly, gulping as I slowly close my laptop, leaving my student unanswered, "If that is how you feel-"

"Yes its how I feel," He snaps, "What? You expect me to just get over the fact that you broke my heart in high school that you would get sympathy now that you've been in a car accident? I mean seriously!? Did you just plan on coming to Massachusetts to just ruin my life knowing that you within half a mile radius of me? Did you think that I would just somehow get over that!?

"Not only do you just happen to walk into this god damn hospital, but I come into your room and you have pictures of _us _from years ago! What? Do you feel sorry that you dumped me now that I'm a well-paid doctor!?"

My stomach drops, "You saw the pictures-"

"I'm not done!" He snaps harshly, I nod, and he goes back to pacing, "I swear you only think about yourself more than half the time, you left me without any notice, regarded my feelings without even trying to fix anything, you probably had another man set up after me or were just waiting for university to go whore around."

Each and every one of his words pains me, almost physically. I try my best not to take anything too close to heart, I just lay and listen to his rants that he needs to get out from eight years ago, "While you were doing god knows who, I was here saving lives, I should be happy that you ended up in the hospital, I should be happy that I'm on a higher playing field than you, I _should _be _happy _that I see you now and know that I'm doing better than you!"

He collapses on the chair, head in hand as he slams his right arm against the other arm, "Damnit! Why the hell aren't I happy Bella!?"

My heart aches for him, seeing his worn out expression now makes me want to go over to him and wrap my arms around him, tight enough so he won't be able to leave. I sigh, "Physical aspects of life don't mean a thing without the emotional."

He glares up, "Yeah, and I'm sure you know all about it."

"What happened- the break up," I swallow, "I made it up, I knew you wouldn't leave me at WU to go to the most prestigious university out there, so I made everything up."

His head snaps up, his eyes wide and angry, "What?!"

"Come on Edward, we both know that if you had went to WU you would be missing out on everything you deserved, you deserved the best, you got a full ride to Harvard, I was _not _going to let you stay back because of me. Now look at you! You are the chief of freaking surgery and it only took you nine years! You're probably the youngest head in the world!" I praise him.

Edward's expression shows he's not liking what he hears, "An education is an education, I'm chief of fucking surgery because I hated _everyone _after you left! What do you think I compensated with?! I was top of the class with _everything_, I studied while you were at Charlie's cooking thanks giving dinner!"

My jaw tightens, "I didn't know how strong your feelings were, I assumed you would have gotten over me after a few days of mopping-"

"What? So you never believed me every time I told you that I loved you? What do you think I had meant? That I will love you forever until the next girl comes along?" His voice low and venomous.

"I'm a female Edward, I'm a plain skinny female who was with the popular guy in school, I had to protect myself because I knew you were going to leave me eventually." I try my best to verbalize my excuse.

He lets out a bitter laugh, "Leave you? I had a fucking _ring _for you! But I guess it's a good thing that you thought that my _education_ is worth more than any of my emotional_ wellbeing, _right?"

I gape, "Edward, I-"

"I have patients to check on." He stands up once more, not looking at me as he leaves the room and lets the door slam behind him, causing me to jump, my heart pounds.

I don't even have time to dwell as Alice opens the door not even a second later, her head turned out, "What's Dr. Cullen's problem?"

_Me…_ "I don't know, he was grumpy when he came in."

"Hm, probably girl troubles."

_Bull's-eye, _"Probably."

Alice frowns, "Are you okay? You seem sad."

I shake my head, "Just thinking about an unpleasant matter, I'm fine. Um- how was your day?"

She shrugs as she walks and sits in the chair Edward had occupied, "Same-old, same-old, nothing too exciting, but I think you will have a friend in here soon."

"What?"

"Jasper," She rolls her eyes, "He's been playing ruff out on the field, he came back last night with a black eye because they were sparing, I mean, who fist fights in the army anymore?!"

I give her a polite smile, "How do you feel about it?"

"How do you think!? My husband got beaten up yesterday, today he's probably got a bullet wound!"

"More like a knife," I joke, "Considering they seem to be a few steps behind in technology."

She glares, "Don't give me more to worry about."

I shake my head, "When does he get home?"

"In an hour," She sighs, moving the chair closer, "So I will be here for another twenty before leaving."

"Did you bring the goods?" I wink.

Alice laughs, "I couldn't bring you any fast food because of the smell, but I did bring subway."

I squeal, Alice digs through her bad to get out the six inch out, "Since I'm a vegan, I am against buying meat products, customer demand, the more being brought, the more being killed, so I just got you a vegetarian, I hope that's okay."

I smile, shaking my head, "Don't worry Alice, food is food, there is pickles on here right?"

She grins, "I asked them to put extra."

"You are my angel Alice!" I laugh, spreading the paper out over me so I don't spill the ingredients over myself, grabbing the bread in my good hand before taking a bite. I groan, my taste buds fully appreciating the flavors, "So good."

"I've tasted the food they serve here, I know for a fact that it is not the best." Alice laughs.

"You think?" I laugh, the sub in front of my mouth so I don't show her the remains of the 9/11.

"So, have you been talking to anyone in here?"

I nod, "Yeah, doctors and nurses, well, and you count I guess."

"You know most people socialize when they have nothing else to do."

"Yep, I'll go socialize with the cranky people in the ER, and the babies in the pead's, oh! Maybe the screamers up in the psych!"

She rolls her eyes, "Gee, you can't tell the sarcasm at all."

"I thought as much." I grin, taking another bite.

We sit and talk for about random stuff for the next twenty minutes before Alice had to leave, taking my snuck subway wrapper with her. As soon as she leaves, the weight of Edward's and mine 'conversation' pulls down on me like the weight of gravity on a distant planet.

I understand exactly what he means through all his spiteful words, I had made his choice for him, I chose his education over his own emotional wellbeing, but I honestly didn't think he cared about me _that _much. I mean, I'm plain old me, how could he? Now he hates me –which I don't blame him for-, and in all honesty, he's probably taken himself off my case.

And the ring…Was he seriously going to propose? I definitely would _not _have been ready back then, but the fact that he was willing to take the leap makes me want to go back in time and smash past Bella's head into the floor before she answered the door.

A tear runs down my cheek, _I made my chose, and now I have to live with it. _

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

**If anyone wants to see Emmett in a dress and wearing make-up, watch stick-it ;) **


End file.
